We were taking our weekly Sunday walk when my friend mentioned a column that I had written a few weeks earlier.
“The retirement column you wrote was definitely about men. Women retire too. Why aren’t you writing about us?”
I didn’t have an answer and realized that I was uncharacteristically without words, which is probably why I hadn’t written any. So I’ve done some asking, and thinking, and asking some more. Here’s some of what I’ve discovered. I hope you’ll fill me in on the rest:
Pre and post retirement women tell me they are seldom asked, “how are you handling retirement?” because most assume that they are continuing with what they did before their careers joined hands with the rest of their lives. They’re still working.
Most women with or without children or parents or husbands or lovers aren’t asked what they will do when they retire because they don’t.
If women don’t really retire, when do they get to rest, travel, surf the net, and in general, play hooky?
If they want to take time off, they’ll have to give notice, especially to those who have counted on them most and longest:
This is your mother speaking. I have retired. I no longer work for fee or free. I can still cook, clean, mend, and on occasion, baby sit. But now I do it when I want to and if it is convenient. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it means that I’m doing something for me.
This is your daughter speaking. I have retired. I may not be here when you call. That doesn’t mean that I won’t take you shopping or to the doctor, or wherever you like. It means that you’ll need an alternate plan for help when I’m not here to provide it for you. That doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it means that I’m doing something for me.
This is your wife speaking. I have retired. This is a wonderful and challenging time for me. I’ve changed since we first met. So have you. I have more skills and strengths than I earlier realized . My expectations are different than they were then. I am more than I was and there is more that I want to be. I’m going to continue to grow. I’d like your encouragement and support along the way.
This is a single woman, with no kids, speaking. I have retired. That means that at last I am free to do and be what I choose, everyday. I can go out and volunteer, slap paint on a wall or take the dog to the vet. I can walk in the park, compute in the dark, read a book or take a nap. And I can do it anytime I want to.
If you are reasonably secure with a sense of emotional and physical well being you can do whatever you choose. So do something of value in your retirement.
Dare to dream. Challenge yourself to make it happen. Stretch, grow, take a chance. These are the years you’ve waited a lifetime to begin. They don’t come with a road map or a how-to manual.
You will need courage, imagination and initiative:
Courage to ask questions and go places you’ve not gone before.
Imagination to create possibilities and options for how to obtain them.
Initiative to go where you need without waiting for an invitation or asking for permission.
Expand your horizons by meeting people who do what you’d love to do. Attend workshops and seminars and exhibits and classes that teach what you’d love to learn.
Where to go, what to do?
Check for interesting programs at your library, Volunteer Center, Women’s Resource Center, Women’s Hospital, Arts Center, YWCA, and your religious or spiritual center, just for starters.
Check for a comprehensive list of community clubs and organizations at your public library web site, or stop by and ask.
Check the newspaper for interesting speakers, performances, and profiles of local folks you’d like to meet.
Check with community colleges, liberal arts colleges, and universities for courses designed for the life long learner.
It takes courage to create a retirement that spits in the eye of conventional wisdom. If anyone can make a beginning out of an ending, it’s you.
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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:
Joyce Richman (www.joycerichman.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.
