If you don’t think that body language has power all its own, read this employer’s account of an interview he recently conducted:
“The applicant’s resume described a real go-getter who had accomplished a great deal in a short period of time. His academic credentials were as impressive as his letters of recommendation. You can imagine my surprise and disappointment when he settled into the chair across from me. The live version of the paper hero appeared meek, fumbling, and scared to death. I figured I had better use for the time I’d spend on him, so I ended the interview early.”
And this one from a job applicant:
“The interviewer was so aloof, I shut down. I had tried to engage her in social conversation, smiled and was pleasant, but when I received nothing in return, I figured I didn’t have a chance. Yes, she asked me questions but I couldn’t tell if she was listening to me, waiting for me to stop talking, wanting to get on with next question, or anxious to get rid of me. You can imagine my surprise when I was called back for a second interview and got an offer. I still don’t know what happened. I’m glad I don’t report to her. With her attitude, she’s probably driven off some good people.”
How aware are interviewers and applicants of the unspoken messages they send? I recently spoke with three individuals who conduct the hiring process for their respective companies and heard three very different responses:
Q: To what extent do you see your body language and behavior having an influence upon those you interview?
Respondent A: “I am very aware that my attitude and how I express it can have a definite impact on the applicant. I make every attempt to be fair in my presentation so that no one presumes an advantage based upon our interaction. I have been told that I don’t “reveal” anything. That’s as I intend it.”
Respondent B: “We interview a lot of people and the names and faces can run together. It’s possible that some of our applicants feel like they’re on an assembly line. Thanks, this is a good reminder to take no one for granted and to realize how important the interview is to the person sitting across the desk.”
Respondent C: “I think that applicants’ behavior affects me more than I mine affects them! For example, when someone comes in late and unapologetic, I’m irritated and impatient, rushing to make up for lost time. When applicants slump in their chairs or are generally negative or unresponsive, I’m not apt to sell the company as I would to someone who is enthusiastic about wanting to interview with us.”
This is a good heads-up to anyone who’s interested in having good working relationships with others. Whether speaking or silent, in motion or not, your body language speaks in a manner all its own, and has the power to enhance or distract from the message and impression you intend to send.
How can you become aware of the communications you inadvertently convey? Ask and you’ll get feedback that might surprise you:
You think you provide information in a clear, concise manner only to learn that you come across as impatient, and even a little frustrated, when someone asks you a question.
You know you’re quiet and prefer to work alone; you may not know that others interpret your reserve as arrogance.
You describe yourself as an extrovert and life of the party yet find that some people consider you loud and overbearing.
Most of us are blissfully unaware of the impact our behavior has on others. We don’t ask for much feedback and we get even less until we’re interviewing for a job or seeking a promotion. Then feedback comes like a swinging door. You’re in or you’re out. Rather than remaining clueless or worrying about how you’re being perceived, ask how you can add value to a meeting, support others most effectively, encourage team play, and demonstrate your leadership capabilities. The more you ask, the more you know, the greater your options to choose what’s right for you and those with whom you work.
