I’m getting used to calls about workplace stress. What’s gotten my attention lately are all the calls about workplace abuse.

American business and industry are known for having more workplace stress, abuse, and violence than our counterparts in other developed nations. The simple explanation is that we are more competitive, entrepreneurial, and bottom line. We seem to like that. Not that we are violent,  but that we are competitive. Stress is the norm.

Add to that mix, our recent and increasing drive to do it all faster, with fewer people, so that we can make more money. Little wonder that stress, the feeling, has turned into abuse, the behavior.

What does it look and sound like? Probably like home, on a really bad day. Gone are the company manners, and replacing them are the screamers and tantrum throwers.

What happens next depends on the organization. In some, the “disgruntled” are removed quickly and quietly, never to be spoken of again. Sometimes the abuser becomes the scapegoat and is shunned. Sometimes they are ignored or tolerated. On occasion, abuse turns violent, and becomes the lead story on the 6 o’clock news.

What’s acceptable anger and what’s abusive behavior? The answer lies in degrees.

You all have those days when nothing goes right, inside or outside the office, and your defense mechanisms jam. You lose it,  expletives flying and steam released, until you can collect yourself  and return to your regular programming.

If it happens once in a great while and you’re otherwise considered a great performer, all is forgiven. They call you “human” and “normal”; like they know. That’s acceptable.

If you are typically over the top, allowing your frustrations and impatience to spew all over the office and splatter its human contents, you are uniformly considered a jerk, and worse. That’s abusive and unacceptable.

What should you do when someone loses it all over you? Don’t jump in the mix with them. It doesn’t make sense to argue with or attempt to mollify someone who’s acting out. Give the person space and time to work it off. Their temper is typically self directed or situation directed, and not directed at you. Go about your business.  Obviously, if  they are threatening themselves or others, get help immediately.  If they are abusive, let your management know. Abusive behavior is dysfunctional and unacceptable in a public workplace.

Abusive behavior is unacceptable for more reasons than the discomfort that it creates. When these excesses are tolerated, there is  higher absenteeism and increased turnover. Employee safety,  company security, and product quality are affected. And if  you’re sensitive to the bottom line, that hurts.

Before you wrap this up and put it away, what are you treating; the symptoms or the cause? Are abusive employees, who have managed to get you angry, distracting you from recognizing the systemic workplace problems that are at issue?

If you will objectively listen to what they’re saying instead of how they’re saying it you’ll have a chance to solve both problems.

In the 1990’s, W. Edwards Deming boosted business recovery when he incorporated the principles of Total Quality Control into American factories and government. When these principles were systematically practiced and the standards of workplace behavior were changed from negative to positive, the resulting  behaviors changed accordingly.

Make it easy to remember:

Break the code of silence and confront abusive behaviors.

Involve employees in decisions that affect them.

Resolve employee issues rather than avoid them.

Replace employee fear with trust.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.joycerichman.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.