I’m often asked for the keys to improving interviewing strategies. As I think about it, I’m struck by the notion that what makes us good interviewees makes us good interviewers; what makes us good employees makes us good employers.
Read, respond, value, and build are four keys to establishing and maintaining professional relationships.
Read your audience. Whether you’re networking, interviewing, leading or managing, joining an organization or leaving one, pay attention to what’s going on with the people around you.
Respond to your audience. It’s easy to scan. It’s meaningful to respond in ways that are synchronous with what you observe.
Value your audience. Who are they? How do they contribute? What do they need? What do they want? How can you help?
Build a bridge to your audience. Find ways that you can connect and make a positive difference so that you can change the conversation from the transactional to something better, something relational.
Make it about them; not about you. Whether you’re making a sale or selling yourself, leading through change or managing through chaos, focus on the person and people most impacted by what’s going on around them. Find out what they need, meet their needs, and you’ll accomplish what you and they want to achieve.
You can be proactive and responsive. You can lead and listen. You can clarify and understand.
These behaviors aren’t mutually exclusive. They are inclusive, rapport building, and necessary to succeed in a rapidly changing work environment that is part how, part what, part why and part when.
Be curious. Ask questions. Show interest. There’s far more that you don’t know than what you know. Let the other person be the smartest person in the room. Showcase their talents; highlight their accomplishments and in turn they will value you for doing just that.
Find balance. If you’re all one at the expense of the other you’ll please few and not many. If you’re so goal focused that you lose sight of the people who’ve helped you along the way, you may get what you want at the expense of the relationships you’ll need once you get there.
Show your elasticity. Demonstrate that you have the mental, physical, and emotional agility to work effectively across time zones, specialties, cultures, languages, and personalities.
Learn to apologize. Like the rest of us, you’d rather be right than wrong. And you’re human. You’re going to make mistakes and when you do, own them quickly and apologize for them. Don’t waste valuable time explaining the well intended, misguided action you took. Just let whoever might be affected by the impact of that mistake know what happened so they can protect themselves from it.
Learn the importance of simple words, like “please,” “thank you,” and “I value you your time.”
Learn to build up and not tear down. Cutting, sarcastic comments do damage beyond the obvious and injure more than the intended target.
Treat everyone like a customer. Be respectful, ask before you answer, listen before you speak, clarify for meaning, and negotiate for win-win outcomes.
