Do you love public speaking as much as public stoning? Do you enjoy giving a presentation as much as getting a root canal? Do you shut down when you’re asked questions, and avoid asking questions when you need information? If so, you’re in some scared but good company.

Let’s face it. You don’t have to speak up if you don’t want to. You don’t have to ask for what you believe is rightfully yours. Just be prepared for the consequences when you don’t:

She told me that she worked harder than anyone in her department. She came early and stayed late. She did her job in addition to what others didn’t want to do or never got around to doing. She never asked for anything in return. She didn’t think she had to. She knew she was appreciated. People smiled at her and thanked her for the extra that she did. That extra enabled them to arrive late and leave early. She couldn’t understand why she was never promoted and they were. She couldn’t understand why they made more money and she made less. But she kept her counsel. She didn’t want anyone to think that she wasn’t appreciative of the company and the job they let her do.

Gender aside, if she sounds like you and you want more than what she’s getting, you need to become more assertive. How can you do that and remain true to your character?

Most reticent people draw their energy from within. They want time to think and space for that reflection. Their preference for quiet becomes problematic only when they are asked to respond in the moment, without time to consider the issues and ponder their consequences.

Do they sound like you? If so, and you want to be able to slow down the people and process long enough to get your bearings, I have a few techniques for you. Tailor them to fit your style:

• State the obvious. You want time to think: “I’ll get back to you with that information no later than 2 o’clock this afternoon (or whatever time you need to get the job done).
• If the questioner is impatient and wants an immediate response, confirm that you heard the request. Then clarify your understanding of it before immediately responding to it.  Not only does it buy you time to think, it gets at the crux of the issue: “Tom, I understand that you need that information immediately. What else is going on that’s impacting the project? The more I know, the better I can help.”
• Go slow to go fast. Ask open ended questions: “Tell me more…”; “Help me understand…”. You’ll save time, effort, and good will by knowing at the beginning what is needed at the end.

Now, about public speaking. The higher you rise in an organization, the more often you’ll be called upon to make formal and informal presentations. You may never be great at it, but you can always get better:

• Know what you want to say and why it’s important to say it.
• Organize your speech into talking points.
• Speak from your core and not from your head.
• Vary your approach without changing your message.
• Practice in front of a full length mirror.
• Critique your performance. If you’re bored or confused, so is your intended audience. Get back to basics: Does your message stay on point? Are you getting your points across in a compelling manner? Are you challenging your audience to think differently than they otherwise might? Do you want them to take action? If so, have you told them what they need to do?
• When you give a speech in real time, focus on your audience instead of yourself. Speak to individuals whose body language signals that they are receptive to your message. For every person you connect with, you collect two dozen or so who are sitting nearby and believe that you’re speaking directly to them.

Once you’ve learned out to speak, your next development opportunity awaits: Your ability to listen.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.joycerichman.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.