Q:  My job is gone and my company left with it. I can’t say I’m surprised. Disappointed? Oh, yes. But not surprised. I worked in a business that had been shrinking for years. I knew it. Most of us working here knew it. And most of us stuck around until they closed the doors.

You might wonder why I’d do that, stick around to the bitter end. I didn’t know what else to do because this was all I knew. I worked here for more than 25 years. I liked my job and my supervisors.  My friends were here, my family was here. I met my wife here and before my kids were old enough to know better, I had them working here, too.

So I don’t know if you’d call me loyal, naïve, or close-minded, but that’s my story and my problem. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life and I need help figuring it out.

A:  Give yourself a break. You sound like you value family and friends and you stay with the folks who treat you right. If this employer treated you and your family right, for 25 years, it’s easy to see that you stayed and didn’t leave.

Now you’re confronted with a reality that was a long time coming; the industry and company to which you were committed is no longer relevant to today’s consumer and you need to figure out what you want to do, can do,  and are likely wired to do, going forward. There are a several ways that you can figure that out. Here are just a few:

Do a self assessment: Make a list of things you do naturally, easily, and enjoy doing. Then call the people who know you best and ask them what they see you doing well. Cross check your list with theirs.  Your confirmed strengths are those where you agree. Unconfirmed strengths are those where you disagree because you 1. Need more practice, 2. Don’t enjoy doing it, or 3. Aren’t interested.

Next, make a list of your skills (i.e. what you’ve learned to do reasonably well).

Finally, make separate lists of your intrinsic and extrinsic values.  Intrinsic values provide inner satisfaction and motivation, like feeling respected or helping others. Extrinsic values are external  and provide tangible rewards you find at work, like job titles, benefits, earnings. Prioritize each list.

Armed with renewed self awareness, work with a career counselor, take career and personality assessments, and discover opportunities for which you might be well suited.  Go to your local community college and investigate training courses for programs that are a potential match to your aptitude and interest. Be open, curious, and willing to explore pathways that you’ve not earlier considered.

When taking this very important next step, keep this in mind: Although you need work to pay the bills, you need work that is sustainable over time. It should be work that you enjoy, that challenges you appropriately, that you believe makes a difference and you will be valued for having performed it well.