Joe hadn’t received performance feedback in several years. When it finally came he wasn’t prepared and took it like a kick in the gut.
“You have to be kidding! All this time, I don’t hear anything, and this is what you have to tell me? That people have a problem with me? A problem? They ought to be lovin’ me; they owe their jobs to me. This is the thanks I get? We’ll just see about that!”
What’s wrong with this picture?
Plenty.
Problem #1: Joe’s taken off guard: When employees receive consistent feedback, they may not like what they hear but they’re seldom blindsided by it.
Problem #2: Joe’s defensive: It’s natural to protect yourself if you’ve been blindsided. That’s why it’s important to keep employees in the loop regarding their performance, how their behavior impacts co-workers, and the likely consequences of that impact.
Problem #3: Joe’s retaliation: If you blindside people they get defensive. If you hit them hard enough, they get even. Bottom line: If you want positive and negative feedback to be effective, it has to be timely, specific, and delivered personally, privately, and constructively.
There are some folks who’ll read the above and see justification for their own bad, unacceptable behavior. (“See, that’s why I over-react when you tell me something. I feel blindsided!”) If they persist, they proceed at their own risk and will likely be explaining themselves to a stranger in an unemployment line.
There are some employers who’ll read the above and see it as rationalization for not providing any feedback. (“That’s why I don’t confront employees. Whether they’re doing something wrong or giving somebody a bad time, they’ll take it out on me, and it goes downhill from there. I decided a long time ago, when employees act up bad enough, I just fire ‘em.”).
If you want people to do a good job for you, let them know what your expectations are, where they stand relative to those expectations, and how they can improve.
As employees become more competent, they’re able to take on more responsibility, freeing you to take the company in whatever direction you deem most important for success. Bottom-line, grow your employees and you’ll grow your business.
If you want to provide behavioral feedback that is constructive, meaningful and easy to remember, involve recipients in the process. Instead of telling them how they ought to be, ask them how they would like to be perceived and why that’s important. Focus on the specifics of what is and isn’t working by describing a particular situation, the participants, what you personally observed, and the outcome that resulted. Involve employees in problem solving by asking them for their take of the situation, and how, going forward, they can contribute to a better resolution.
Discuss the pros and cons of the process, and concrete ways to measure success. When employees are part of the solution they’re less apt to be part of the problem.
How can you get feedback if no one seems particularly interested in giving it to you? By going after it in the same way that you provide it: specifically. Ask for feedback from an individual whose opinion you value. Describe a recent situation you both experienced, the actions you took, and the consequences of those actions. Ask how your actions were perceived. For example:
“Joe, I trust your insight and could really benefit from your feedback. Are you willing to help? (Pause for Joe’s response. If it’s “yes”, continue…) When we were in the planning meeting today I offered a suggestion to our boss, Mr. Big. He didn’t respond to what I said. Moments later, Hal made the same suggestion and Mr. Big praised him for his intelligence and candor. This has happened to me before. What can I do differently so that I can be heard and understood?”
Listen to what Joe tells you. Really listen. There’s no need to defend your behavior or to attack anyone else’s. Joe may not fully understand your frustration but he can provide you some objective feedback that, were you to approach the same situation differently, could result in a better outcome.
