Many parents struggle over whether they should get involved when it comes to their kids’ effort to find work. They should and you should, too. Just keep the following in mind:
Remember balance. Get too involved and it becomes your search and your problem. Stay too far away and you become the problem.
Clarify roles. This is their job search and their responsibility. They do the heavy lifting, not you. Your job is to ask the right questions, to be appropriately challenging, and to be resourceful in the kind of support you provide.
Stick with open ended questions. Ask what they’re interested in doing and where they’d like to work. Ask about what they care about and what they want to learn and why working is important to them. Ask what they want to achieve as a result of getting a job and how they’ll know they’re getting the payoff they’re looking for. Describe the positives they possess and the track record they have.
Make this about them, not about you and what you’d look for and how you’d get it done.
Instead of making calls on your kids’ behalf, practice and role play those conversations, so they have the confidence to do it themselves.
Help them get ready for prime time. Interviews can be intimidating if you don’t know what to expect and or how to respond. Rehearse. Begin with them in the driver’s seat where they ask you questions and you provide concise, truthful answers. Then change seats. You be the interviewer and your kid the applicant. Go back and forth, with both of you improving in your performance and strategy.
Keep scary stories to yourself. You can be a realist without setting your kids’ hair on fire. Yes, bad things can happen to hard-working, well intended people but this isn’t the time to instill fear and inspire trembling. Instead, find real examples of people doing a good job, providing great customer service, and enjoying their work.
Words count so think before you speak. If you’re looking for work at the same time that your kids are, and you’re having a tough time of it, be mindful of what you say and how you say it. They’re watching and learning from you so model the behaviors you’d want others to model for them.
Walk your talk. If you preach responsibility, be responsible. If you teach respect, be respectful. If you believe in follow through, then follow through. It’s important to teach the values of honesty, ethics, and accountability, so live it where your kids can see it.
This is their search and they have to do their homework. Explain the value of why and describe the nature of what. Encourage them to do it and don’t do it for them. If your daughter wants to work at the pet store, encourage her to learn all the responsibilities that go with the job. If your son wants to bag groceries encourage him to learn what the best baggers do and how they do it.
Bottom line, get involved.
