When it comes right down to it, you don’t know what you don’t know. When it comes to interviewing, you don’t know what you’re missing when you don’t get feedback about how you’re doing; your presentation, articulation, clarity of purpose, listening skills, and ability to respond to the ambiguity of open- ended questions in ways that make sense and advance your case.

If you’re offered the job, you’re not apt to care about what didn’t work. If you’re not made the offer it’s highly likely you’ll want to know why and what you need to do differently so that the job is yours, should you want to accept it.

The people most apt to know and least apt to tell, are the individuals conducting the interview and making the decisions. You can ask for feedback, but most interviewers steer away from those conversations, fearing that they will turn from requests for enlightenment to no holds barred disagreements.

If you can’t ask interviewers, whom can you ask? Just about anyone who’s been reasonably successful working in positions similar to the ones you’d like to have. Are you apt to get the information you want? That depends on how you define feedback and the confidence and willingness the would- be giver has in providing it.

What does it take to be good feedback providers? What do you request of them and what are they likely to require of you?

What does it take to be good at giving feedback? The person providing it should be objective and non-judgmental, have the time, competence, and experience necessary to provide it, have an opportunity to observe you or interact with you in an interview or simulation, be candid and considerate, perceive that you are open to constructive feedback and have the desire to act upon it.

What are you likely to request of them? All the above and the honesty to tell you if they’d rather not participate.

What ought they to require of you? Your definition of feedback, why you want it, how you’d like to receive it, and what you intend to do with it; your respectful appreciation of their perspective, your willingness to listen and your guarantee that you will not argue with them or resent them for having provided what you said you wanted.

Assuming that you’re practicing your interviews with individuals who are willing and able to provide you non-judgmental, accurate feedback that enables you to see yourself as they see you, you’ll benefit most if they can provide it to you in visual, descriptive terms, the kind you’d get if you were watching yourself on television. Here’s an example.

“When I asked you to describe your five- year plan your body slumped

and your face lost color. You took several seconds to respond and when you did your voice sounded weak and lacked energy or enthusiasm. I therefore assumed that you weren’t prepared for the question and that prompted me to ask other questions that had to do with vision and mission.”

As important as it is to see yourself as others see you, it helps to hear

yourself as others hear you. For example…

“When I asked you to give me examples of when you had dealt effectively with a difficult boss, you answered by telling me about a boss who made you angry, how your anger caused you to retaliate, and how your retaliation caused you to get fired. In other words, you talked yourself into a problem I didn’t know you had. That resulted in my asking you questions that took you in a direction you said you didn’t want to go. All that happened because you didn’t answer the original question.”