What do employees want? It depends on the person you ask. Managers and supervisors want their direct reports to become more responsible and accountable for their work and their behavior. They grow weary of the constant refrain of “you’re doin’ it to me”. Employees complain that they’re not recognized for their hard work. Supervisors come back with a “you call that hard work?” Back and forth it goes, with the subordinate wanting more money, more time and more reassurance. Their bosses shoot back with give me more, show me more, and maybe, just maybe I’ll listen to you.

What’s the outcome? Stalemate. No one feels satisfied, understood, or reinforced for his or her position in this see saw battle for who’s right.

As in any back and forth conflict, each side resists giving in, fearing further loss of territory, control, or competency in the eyes of their bosses.  Yet, as is usually the case, the answer lies somewhere in the middle.

Last year employees could be selective about where they wanted to work. Today, that’s not the case. Unemployment numbers are still low (that’s good) but employee confidence has diminished (that’s not good). The market continues to fluctuate from bearish to bearing up-ish. Jobs that once looked dependable are going away with no ready replacements in sight. Health care specialists tell us what we guessed in the middle of the night: people are sleeping less because they’re more stressed. So, for the moment at least, that puts the best cards in the hands of employers: ante up, or you could possibly lose your job. Shortsighted response, sure, but a response all the same.

Here’s what employers want:

• Get to work on time, earlier is preferable.
• Get the job done without my having to spoon-feed you along the way.
• I’ll assume you know what you’re doing unless you tell me that you don’t.
• Don’t tell me when I’m in the middle of putting out 10 fires.
• Blindside co-workers or me and you’re courting disaster. Ask what you need, tell me when you don’t know, and tell me if a train is coming.
• You don’t have to like any of us, but treat all of us with respect.
• When you’re here, be fully here. That means that you’re focused on your work and not on arranging or repairing your social life.
• Leave when the job is done. Hopefully, for you, that will coincide with the end of the day.

What do their employees want?

• Lead us, don’t push us.
• Treat us with respect.
• Tell us what you want when you want it. Don’t assume that we can read your mind or your time schedule.
• If your boss is bearing down on you, deal with it, and don’t push it down on us. If it’s about something we did, tell us at the time we did it, not after its too late to do something about it.
• Balance is a big issue for all of us. Like you, we have lives outside work that are important to us. We have personal as well as professional obligations. From time to time we make or take personal calls, or take aging parents or young children to doctors and dentists. We do that when no one else can. We take our responsibilities seriously, all of them.
• Breathing down our necks just makes us tense. We know what we need to do and we’ll ask if we don’t.
• We do our jobs differently from you because we have different perspectives. Forcing us into your box is de-motivating. We’re not the problem. Give us a chance to be part of the solution.
• Let us know when we’re doing a good job. A little praise goes a long way.
• Train us to do more, not more of the same thing. We want to get ahead. Giving us opportunities to learn makes us feel good about this company. We don’t want to leave. We don’t want to get into a tight market. But like you, we’ll do what we have to do.