If you have to think if  your joke is appropriate, it’s not. If you hesitate before lambasting a colleague, don’t. If you stop, however briefly, to determine the correctness of your comment, that’s reason enough to move it from the top of your agenda and the tip of your tongue. Study your action under cooler circumstances.

Company leaders familiar with personnel law and risk management are putting their employees on alert. Co-workers, already stressed with the “too much to do and no time to do it” syndrome, haven’t the energy or patience to tolerate abusive comments, raunchy jokes, and questionable language. Employees who feel harassed are threatening legal recourse in increasing numbers and companies that don’t want to appear on the court docket (or in the court of public opinion) know they mean business. Pun intended.

Why does bad behavior get a blind eye?

I had a client, a senior executive, sent to me for “corrective action.” His problem? He ogled women. He ogled women in elevators, in restaurants, in business meetings. He ogled his eyeballs out. No one took action until he visually groped the wrong woman (correction, the right woman) who reported his behavior to human resources and sent  copies of her complaint to the corporate attorney and the Chairman of the Board. As they attempted to placate the offended, they remanded the ogler to me.

He was angry.  He felt blindsided and railroaded. He resented that he was nailed as the bad guy. “They’re all part of it!” he exploded. “Everyone of them!”

What’s his story?

“Sure I do it,” he said. “And all the guys here love it. They laugh, they hoot, they cheer me on. As soon as I get caught, they run for cover,  screaming ‘blame him’, then sanctimoniously offer prayers for my redemption. No one ever said, “you’re out of line” until the legal department got hold of it.”

Was he telling the truth? I checked. He was. This guy had been acting that way for all the years he had been employed with the company. It bothered some, it didn’t bother others, and most said they either didn’t notice and if they did, they didn’t care. He was a heavy hitter. He made a lot of money for the company and everyone profited from his being there. No one gave him fair warning.

No wonder he was screaming foul. Does that give him a pass? No. He was wrong. His boss was wrong and his colleagues were wrong. Someone needed to step up and straighten this guy out. No one did.

Take a look around. If you’re working with people who cross the line in how they act or or what they say, do them a favor and do it now. Tell them that it makes youuncomfortable.  If they don’t want to hear about it, let them know that you’re taking it up the line.

Don’t wait. Whether you’re the target or the observer, take action before the behavior escalates to a consequence no one can back away from.

How do you know what’s out of bounds?

Is the joke at someone’s expense? Does the humor, no matter how foot-stomping, scapegoat someone? Is the behavior intimidating, humiliating, harassing, to someone?

Some people revel in over the top candor. “I tell it like it is, whether people like it or not!” For what purpose? Is the outcome they seek undone by the manner in which they seek it?

There was a time that companies and co-workers tolerated behavior that should never have been allowed. That time has gone. And the people who are doing it are going with it.

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Yes! You may use this article by Executive and Career Coach, Joyce Richman, in your blog, article in your blog, newsletter or website as long as you include the following bio box:

Joyce Richman (www.joycerichman.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce is a weekly guest on WFMY-TV and the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.