The Best of Intentions

The best of intentions can result in unintended consequences. For example:

Mister Fixer: You may be their manager but they think of you as the company handyman. You encourage them to come to you with their problems because you can fix anything. You wear your tool belt to work, at home, and in public gatherings. No matter the situation, you have the solution. What can go wrong? It’s not much fun when your co-workers, friends, and neighbors start handing all their work to you, assuming you want to do it for them. They’ll stop shirking responsibility when you stop inviting them to.

You’re everyone’s shrink. You’re the warmest, most comforting listener in the business. Your eyes mist over as you hear your employees’ woes and worries, hopes and desires. You really, really, really want to be there for them. What can go wrong? You can’t get a lick of work done for all that listening. If the situation isn’t an emergency, and it seldom is, defer the conversation to a more suitable time. And don’t be surprised or disappointed when that needy employee finds someone else to talk to.

You can’t say, “No” You have an endless capacity to do for others. You also have an endless need to be approved by others. Instead of saying “no” when your plate’s spilling over, you’re answering with the emotional equivalent of “pile it on, I’ll get a bigger platter.” What can go wrong? You get buried in other people’s projects and you’re still at work long after they’ve gone home. Get a life! You’ll be more productive and so will they.

You don’t ask questions. You figure that if you keep your eyes open and your mouth shut no one will know what you don’t know and you’ll keep your job. What can go wrong? Employers want employees who speak up and let them know when there’s trouble afoot. Be bold, step out of your shadow, ask questions, get answers, and be a visible, audible, stand up member of your team.

You can’t be bothered. You’re busy doing your job and you can’t be bothered with other people’s problems. What can go wrong? This one has “blindside” written all over it. Take time, every day, to find out what’s going on around you so you’ll know if you need to be part of the solution, instead of part of the problem.

“I’m smarter than you are”. You have a habit of letting everyone know you’re the smartest person in the room. What can go wrong? No one cares if you’re smart when you make everyone else feel dumb.  Since the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, and you’re just one of the parts, learn how to bring out the best parts in others.

“I didn’t know it was due today and I don’t know how to do it so will you do it for me?” You’ve turned helpless irresponsibility into a virtue only you value. What can go wrong? Your future. If you don’t know how to do something, find out, learn how, practice it, and teach it to someone else. If you’re the last one to discover what everyone else knows, meet with your boss, talk with your co-workers; ask questions, confirm assumptions, and share ideas.

“That’s not my job.” This is my job. That’s your job. Don’t touch my job with your job ‘cause you’ll mess up my job. I get paid to do my job. I don’t get paid to do your job. What is your job? Don’t tell me, I don’t want to know. What can go wrong? What part of TEAM don’t you understand?

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Joyce Richman (www.joycerichman.com) has been specializing in executive and career coaching since she started her own practice in 1982. She works in a variety of environments including: higher education, manufacturing, sales, marketing, media, technology, pharmaceuticals, medicine, banking and finance, service, IT, and non-profit sectors. A member of the adjunct faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, Joyce is certified to administer a number of feedback and psychological instruments. Joyce has appeared regularly on WFMY-TV and is the career columnist for The Greensboro News & Record. She is the author of Roads, Routes and Ruts: A Guidebook to Career Success and co-author of Getting Your Kid Out of the House and Into a Job. A popular speaker, Richman conducts seminars and workshops throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. Her coaching profile can be found at TheCoachingAssociation.com.