Q: My anxiety is through the roof. Yesterday I talked back to my boss, something I never do. I apologized and he said we’re OK but I’m not so sure. He seems to be avoiding me and now I’m more concerned than ever. Should I start looking for another job?
A: Exhale. If looking for another job helps you feel more in control, sure, do it. In the time it takes you to find something new, your current issues might be resolved, your anxiety in check, and your current boss pleased with you and your work.
Q: My daughter wants to quit school (she’s a freshman in a local college) and marry her boyfriend, also a youngster, who lives a thousand miles away. Her mother and I want her to complete her degree and then follow her heart’s desire. She’s said that she’s afraid her boyfriend won’t wait for her. What do you recommend?
A: Objective perspective and a reality check. Are you paying for your daughter’s education here, and will you pay for it there? If so, check with colleges in the area and find out if and when she can get accepted. If that’s not the plan, she’ll need a job. Check with the Employment Security Commission. If money will be an issue, contact Consumer Credit Counseling and analyze what she’ll need to earn to pay her expenses. If your daughter and her boyfriend are willing to take this on, have these conversations, listen, learn, and live with the economic and emotional consequences, and are fully committed to each other, find a way to make it work.
Q: I’ve just returned from my fifth visit with one company. How many interviews should it take to land one job?
A: It can take several if you’re interviewing for one of the company’s top positions. More than that and I’d be concerned about current leadership’s ability to make decisions and circumstances they may not have described. If you’re called back again, ask some tough questions of your own. This decision is a two-way proposition.
Q: My husband and I want our high school son to get an after school job. He’s running with a crowd that scares us and we think he’d be better off in a supervised environment. He’s not interested but he’ll do what we ask. What jobs do you recommend that he pursue?
A: You’re concerned that your son is easily influenced, unlikely to consider the negative consequences of his choices, and needs a structured environment to stay out of harm’s way. It also sounds like your son could benefit from learning a structured approach to problem solving and decision making so he can become aware of his options and have the confidence to make the right ones. Get him help. Encourage him to talk with you about the day-to-day choices and challenges he’s facing and how he’s currently dealing with them. He may be savvier than you give him credit and you may be more open and forgiving than he might have dared hope. And about that after-school job… involve him in deciding what it might be. He’ll soon be making those decisions for himself. There’s no time like the present for him to practice accountability in action.
Q: I’ve been made an offer with a company I don’t want to join. I’m afraid to turn it down and afraid that if I take it I’ll be miserable. What should I do?
A: I’m curious: why interview for a company where you don’t want to work? Pretend that you never did. Turn it down. You deserve better.
